Through the eyes of grieving family members...
Outdoor billboard at St. Mary's and Marion in Winnipeg in February 2011.
The events leading up to the discovery of Memere's murder and the arrest of a suspect lasted a few weeks but it felt as though it was just a couple of days. We found out she was missing by a phone call from the Winnipeg Police Service (WPS) regarding a missing purse. The next day, we found out she was murdered and stuffed into the trunk of her car. Four days after that, the WPS arrested a suspect, and then two weeks later we found out she was killed by asphyxiation.
That’s the short version. During the first five days, we experienced police visits, watching the story unfold on the news but mostly a lot of pain, sadness and confusion which haunts us still to this day. We went through a traumatic experience. That experience rocked our world in the saddest way possible. Below is my account of the series of events.
That’s the short version. During the first five days, we experienced police visits, watching the story unfold on the news but mostly a lot of pain, sadness and confusion which haunts us still to this day. We went through a traumatic experience. That experience rocked our world in the saddest way possible. Below is my account of the series of events.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
On Thursday, February 17, my mom Lise called Memère to let her know that because of the big snow storm she could not go to Winnipeg for supper with Memère. It had been my mom’s new year’s resolution to go to Winnipeg to have supper with Memère every second Thursday. Memère was disappointed because she had taken out a roast for supper, but she understood and definitely didn’t want mom to chance the roads. The next day was the beginning of Festival du Voyageur and Louis Riel long weekend festivities. It was a great weekend with friends at the Festival but I remember it was a very cold weekend with cold windshields.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Elizabeth's car being towed after it was discovered in the Osborne area of Winnipeg.
Mom received a phone call from the WPS midday. They asked Mom if she knew Elizabeth Lafantaisie. Mom said, “Yes, that’s my Mom. Why?”. “Do you know where your mom is?” he asked. Mom responded by saying she assumed Memère was at home. They told Mom that Memère's purse was brought in to the police station on Monday, February 21, 2011. Someone found the purse in a stairwell parkade in the Summerland apartment building in Fort Garry, Winnipeg. They continued to tell mom that they had tried to contact Memère and she was not home and her newspapers had been piled up at her door since Saturday. “Oh my god!” was Mom’s response. The police advised Mom that we should file a missing persons report as soon as we could so they could officially start looking for Memère.
Mom did not have a good feeling about this. As soon as Mom got off the phone with the WPS, she called her sister Anna. From there, we all made phone calls to siblings and significant others, we even called hospitals to see if maybe she fell somewhere, bumped her head and didn’t know where she was. Six of us quickly met up in downtown Winnipeg to file Memère as a missing person. My mom Lise, my dad Lucien, my aunt Anna, my uncle Gilles, my sister Janine and I waited at the front reception of the downtown WPS headquarters for a few minutes. The process was fairly quick; we waited longer in line than we did filing her as missing. Dad brought photos from home to give to WPS. I saw the fear in Mom, Dad, Anna, Gilles and Janine’s eyes but I still kept saying “I’m sure she’s fine guys.”
We did not stop thinking about her that whole evening. Worrying about her well-being, thinking about how cold it’s been all weekend and wondering where the heck could she be? The top story on 11 o’clock news was that Police are looking for help in finding an elderly woman, Elizabeth Lafantaisie, who was last seen in the Royalwood area. Most of us were at Mom and Dad's watching the news that evening.
Our whole family was born and raised in a small town in south eastern Manitoba. Everyone knows each other and after the story went on the news there was a lot going on on Facebook, and people calling us and texting us. Police visited us late that evening for us to identify some of the items they had found. Yes, those items were hers. One would think we would feel relieved that they found something else that belonged to her and that they are getting a bit closer to finding her, but it was actually a sad feeling. It was reaffirming what we were beginning to think. It was confirming that something really bad had happened to Memère. One of the items they found was a pocket rosary. I think it was at that moment that I started feeling incredibly worried. Memère would never ditch her rosary. Those were sacred to her. That’s when it clicked for me. Something very bad definitely happened to Memère.
I couldn’t sleep that night. I doubt anyone in our family did either.
Mom did not have a good feeling about this. As soon as Mom got off the phone with the WPS, she called her sister Anna. From there, we all made phone calls to siblings and significant others, we even called hospitals to see if maybe she fell somewhere, bumped her head and didn’t know where she was. Six of us quickly met up in downtown Winnipeg to file Memère as a missing person. My mom Lise, my dad Lucien, my aunt Anna, my uncle Gilles, my sister Janine and I waited at the front reception of the downtown WPS headquarters for a few minutes. The process was fairly quick; we waited longer in line than we did filing her as missing. Dad brought photos from home to give to WPS. I saw the fear in Mom, Dad, Anna, Gilles and Janine’s eyes but I still kept saying “I’m sure she’s fine guys.”
We did not stop thinking about her that whole evening. Worrying about her well-being, thinking about how cold it’s been all weekend and wondering where the heck could she be? The top story on 11 o’clock news was that Police are looking for help in finding an elderly woman, Elizabeth Lafantaisie, who was last seen in the Royalwood area. Most of us were at Mom and Dad's watching the news that evening.
Our whole family was born and raised in a small town in south eastern Manitoba. Everyone knows each other and after the story went on the news there was a lot going on on Facebook, and people calling us and texting us. Police visited us late that evening for us to identify some of the items they had found. Yes, those items were hers. One would think we would feel relieved that they found something else that belonged to her and that they are getting a bit closer to finding her, but it was actually a sad feeling. It was reaffirming what we were beginning to think. It was confirming that something really bad had happened to Memère. One of the items they found was a pocket rosary. I think it was at that moment that I started feeling incredibly worried. Memère would never ditch her rosary. Those were sacred to her. That’s when it clicked for me. Something very bad definitely happened to Memère.
I couldn’t sleep that night. I doubt anyone in our family did either.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
A clip from the statement we released to media.
The next morning, we all met up at Mom and Dad’s again. The phone was off the hook. Police stayed in contact with Mom and Anna regularly. They asked us to think back in time if anyone would have held a grudge against Memère. For hours, Mom and Anna reminisced 30 to 40 years ago trying to really think who would do something to her. Throughout that, there were many weird moments of sadness and crying. We must have finished three boxes of tissues that day. We couldn’t really sit still, either; feeling so helpless. No one could seem to focus on anything. Dad kept busy in the kitchen, making coffee, preparing food, doing dishes. He was very helpful but I’m sure he wasn’t able to sit still either. Every time there was breaking news on TV we were sure to PVR every channel hoping we’d hear info or a development. Media had called us and other Lafantaisie’s in town. We just didn’t know what to say to them.
That day, at around 5 p.m., Anna got a call from our cousin who was walking home from work in the Osborne area. She had just seen an area blocked off with Police tape. She noticed the police officers were surrounding a car similar to Memère's. Anna asked her what the license plate number was and our cousin said she would try to get a better look and would call us back. At that point, we just sat in the living room on the edge of the couches, silently waiting for Anna’s phone to ring again. The five to ten minutes that went by felt like an hour. The phone finally rang and our cousin confirmed that yes, that’s the license plate number on the car. 'They found your mom’s car!'
That was an emotional moment. Such a relief to being one step closer to finding her. Another step closer to answers. But then, minutes later a police car pulled in and our heart almost stopped. They're here, what are they about to tell us? We met the officer at the door and he didn’t need to tell us much, we could see the sadness in his face. All he said was, “They found her and her car.” He shook his head and grabbed mom in his arms. We just stood in the entrance and cried, hugged and yelled. We reacted to what felt like a huge punch in the heart and a hard kick to the stomach. Hearing that news physically hurt. I watched Anna and Mom sob in their husband's chests. I couldn't believe what they must be going through. That's their mom.
Once again, we all started making phone calls to loved ones before they found out on the 6 o’clock news. After a few phone calls, it became mentally and emotionally draining. We thought there was no way we can handle any more news.
A few hours later in the evening our entire immediate family was gathered in the dining room at Mom and Dad’s. The WPS were on the phone with Mom to tell us how they had found Memère. When they told Mom that they found her in the trunk of her car, Mom let go of the phone and lowered her head, she couldn’t listen or speak anymore. Ryan took over the conversation with WPS and was able to let the rest of us know what he had just heard. Imagine, a family of over 15 people gathered around the kitchen in quiet sadness. Some asked questions, “Oh Mom, what happened to you?”, “Do you think she suffered?”, “Why would someone do this to her?”, “How did she die?” but no one had any answers.
To this day, we still don’t have some of those answers.
That day, at around 5 p.m., Anna got a call from our cousin who was walking home from work in the Osborne area. She had just seen an area blocked off with Police tape. She noticed the police officers were surrounding a car similar to Memère's. Anna asked her what the license plate number was and our cousin said she would try to get a better look and would call us back. At that point, we just sat in the living room on the edge of the couches, silently waiting for Anna’s phone to ring again. The five to ten minutes that went by felt like an hour. The phone finally rang and our cousin confirmed that yes, that’s the license plate number on the car. 'They found your mom’s car!'
That was an emotional moment. Such a relief to being one step closer to finding her. Another step closer to answers. But then, minutes later a police car pulled in and our heart almost stopped. They're here, what are they about to tell us? We met the officer at the door and he didn’t need to tell us much, we could see the sadness in his face. All he said was, “They found her and her car.” He shook his head and grabbed mom in his arms. We just stood in the entrance and cried, hugged and yelled. We reacted to what felt like a huge punch in the heart and a hard kick to the stomach. Hearing that news physically hurt. I watched Anna and Mom sob in their husband's chests. I couldn't believe what they must be going through. That's their mom.
Once again, we all started making phone calls to loved ones before they found out on the 6 o’clock news. After a few phone calls, it became mentally and emotionally draining. We thought there was no way we can handle any more news.
A few hours later in the evening our entire immediate family was gathered in the dining room at Mom and Dad’s. The WPS were on the phone with Mom to tell us how they had found Memère. When they told Mom that they found her in the trunk of her car, Mom let go of the phone and lowered her head, she couldn’t listen or speak anymore. Ryan took over the conversation with WPS and was able to let the rest of us know what he had just heard. Imagine, a family of over 15 people gathered around the kitchen in quiet sadness. Some asked questions, “Oh Mom, what happened to you?”, “Do you think she suffered?”, “Why would someone do this to her?”, “How did she die?” but no one had any answers.
To this day, we still don’t have some of those answers.
Monday, February 28, 2011A couple days later they arrested Thomas Anthony Brine. The accused was a repeat offender with outstanding warrants. For details of Thomas Brine's criminal history, click on Court Updates.
We planned Memère's funeral during the days to follow. We had everything lined up, church, priest, funeral service, lunch (which was donated to us), flowers and obituary. However, we had to wait over a week for the coroner's office to release her body. When they did, they also released the cause of death which was death by asphyxiation. The funeral was held at the St. Vital Catholic Church on Tuesday, March 8. Click here to read our thoughts in Family Blog. |